Bad Girls

Bad Girls title
Scene 1 Robin and Ginger wait in line outside the Cabana Room, Spadina Hotel
Spadina Hotel sign flashes
Doorman: You’ll be like the first to know.
Boy 1: How long’s it going to be?
Robin: We’re two, we’re two…
Doorman: Let’s keep things organized. Back up against the wall, let’s keep it single file please. Wonderful honey, but I don’t know care where you’re coming from just relax OK?
Ginger to Robin: Be nice to him.
Robin: We especially want, we especially, we read Adele Freedman.
Doorman: OK, room for one…
Robin: Oh you lucky boy.
Ginger: How long do you think it’s gonna be?
Doorman: I have no idea honey.
Robin: We read Adele Freedman’s article in the Globe and Mail about the Cabana Room and we just thought well…
Doorman: Adele who?
Robin: Adele Freedman. Well, how long do you think it’s going to be?
Doorman: I have no idea. Look, it’s really crowded in there it’s almost the last set.
Robin: The last set?
Ginger: We were here earlier and you said to come back in a couple of hours.
Doorman: I don’t make any promises. There’s been a lot of people who have come here and I can’t help you.
Doorman: Whose playing tonight? Whose playing?
Doorman: The new new new new new Everglades. They broke up and now they’re back again.
Robin: Well I think it’s going to rain, I really think you could maybe give some consideration…
Doorman: Are you by yourself? Just relax. (lets another man in)
Robin: Well how does he rate?
Ginger: How does he rate?
Robin: single people. Well you’ve just let in two people. I’m a big girl.
Doorman: They’re all sitting by themselves. Mary Jane! Fabulous. Have you just got in from Montreal?
Mary Jane: Rubberneck, please. Excuse me. (she walks into club, Robin rubbernecks shamelessly)
Robin: Where’s she from?
Doorman: Montreal.
Robin: Montreal, I mean that’s just down the street.
Doorman: Oh please we have fire regulations and stuff.
Robin: Oh it’s the B-52s on CHUM. (holding radio to ear, lets Ginger listen)
Ginger: It’s wonderful.
Robin: (to doorman) Do you know Rock Lobster? Would you like to listen? Oh, the twist makes it sound so great.
Doorman: Ms. Susan!
Ms. Susan: Jesus Christ. Everybody’s an art critic these days.
Doorman: Susan it’s fabulous in there, it’s packed in there, it’s really great.
Ms. Susan: Fabulous.
Robin: Are you Ms. Susan of the Cabana Lounge?
Ms. Susan: (ignoring Robin) So no one’s been here tonight?
Robin: It’s Ms. Susan, this is my friend ginger. Ms. Susan I’d like you to meet Ginger and I’m Robin.
Ms. Susan: Hi.
Robin: And I’m Robin. You look pretty tight to me.
Ms. Susan: Well get on the case doll.
Doorman: I’ll get ride of this one.
Ms. Susan: And remember we don’t want any of the geek press in here.
Robin: …and we’d like to come in…
Doorman: She’s buy don’t talk. What? Oh we’ve got room for one more.
Robin: But there’s two of us.
Doorman: Look. There one. One or nothing. So I think you should just let Ginger go in. You don’t want to spoil it for her do you? C’mon ginger, c’mon. Have a great time.
Robin: Have a great time Ginger. Do the twist for me.
Doorman: What can I say?
Robin: What’s the difference between she and me?
Doorman: We’re all full up and besides you wouldn’t enjoy yourself.
Robin: But I love new wave.
Doorman: You’re too ugly.
Robin: I’m too ugly. (camera zooms into to close-up of Robin) How am I ever going to get into the Cabana Room? Does anyone need a twist partner?
Woman and man leave club: Excuse me.
Robin: Well that means that two have left. There’s room for me, right? There’s room for me.
Voice offscreen: We need a ponytail.
Robin: I have a ponytail.
Doorman: OK you have a ponytail, it’s your big break honey. (Robin goes in)

Scene 2
Robin and Ginger at mirror
Robin: Oh, I just love the Cabana room.
Ginger: Yeah, I guess.
Robin: Did you see those bowling pins onstage?
Ginger: Oh gross.
Robin: Do you know what I heard? Well I heard someone say it’s a homage, or an homage or however you say it to Michael Snow’s geese in the Eaton’s Centre.
Ginger: Oh, those things.
Robin: Have you ever seen a goose fly backwards?
Ginger: No, why?
Robin: Well sometimes like when the wind’s blowing through the Eaton’s Centre one of the geese flies backwards. But I guess it’s just, you know, modern art. I love modern art, I love everything modern.
Ms. Susan: Hi sweets. (entering doing hair) Well, go mental!
Ginger: Why does she call herself Ms. Susan? I mean why not miss or mrs. Or something.
Robin: Well if you call yourself Miss it means you’re single, you know like us, swinging singles. If you call yourself Mrs. it means you’re married, so if you call yourself Ms. it means you’re bisexual. Lamonte Del Monte told me that. I mean he said like people in show business have to be really flexible. He should know. He’s the only one I ever met who has a Mix Master.
Ginger: What’s the Mix Master for?
Robin: Oh, it’s the twist contest, c’mon Ginger we’ll be late! (they leave)

Scene 3
Dancing, everyone stops whenever the word Freeze is mentioned in the song, except for Robin
Keep the beat bopping
You can really rock it
Just take your gal and hop it
Don’t you ever knock it
You can never top it
All you have to do is Freeze
Freeze, Freeze

You can rock and roll it
You can even stroll it
The saxophone will blow it
Just c’mon and go it
You don’t have to know it
All you have to do is Freeze,
Freeze, Freeze

Keep the beat bopping
You can really rock it
Just take your gal and hop it
Don’t you ever knock it
You can never top it
All you have to do is Freeze
That’s the Freeze.

Scene 4 Robin and Stephen Davey
Robin alone dancing and smoking and clapping as band finishes song
Robin: That Stephen Davey wow what a professional. That old twist music again.
Stephen Davey: God where’s my drink? Oh I’m not going to be able to take this much longer.
Robin: You’re Stephen Davey?
Stephen Davey: Good guess.
Robin: Oh that was wonderful. I was just knocked out by it, oh you’re all wet.
Stephen Davey: Thanks honey.
Robin: You certainly work up a sweat doing it, don’t you?
Stephen Davey: I know it’s going to kill me. Oh, have I seen you around?
Robin: This is my first time here, I got in on the twist contest.
Stephen Davey: How did you do?
Robin: Not so bad, it was OK.
Stephen Davey: I need a drink.
Robin: Well the waiters here are kind of…
Stephen Davies: I know it’s self serve.
Robin: I was thinking, see I sort of worked up this little band, and I was wondering if you could give me any tips about how to perform how to, I mean just what to do. You know some little tips.
Stephen Davey: Well, if you make a mistake don’t let on. Just keep smiling, you’ll never know, they’ll never know.
Robin: Really, I never thought of it. But you don’t make mistakes I’m sure.
Stephen Davey: Well I don’t but my band is and it doesn’t look very good when you know, when you start suddenly look squeamish. Never turn your back on them, they might throw something at you. That’s an old one.
Robin: Has that ever happened?
Stephen Davey: Once. They missed. I threw it back. If they throw money that’s alright. Wear ridiculous clothes, the more ridiculous the better. Outlandish.
Robin: You have such style. Oh. That.
Stephen Davey: This doesn’t come cheap you know.
Robin: Oh, that’s so beautiful.
Stephen Davey: Handmade, the embroidery on it, it took a number of Puerto Rican women just to applicate it.
Robin: Oh, it’s so beautiful.
Stephen Davey: Thank you. That’s the important thing, you know you’ve got to think of more than the people right there in front. You have to think of the photographers and the magazines. There’s a lot more to it than just...
Robin: You mean photographers come and take your picture here?
Stephen Davey: Well they could. Adele Freedman is doing a story I heard.
Robin: Well that’s how I heard about this place.
Stephen Davey: Yes it’s been getting a lot of press coverage lately.
Robin: The cover of Toronto Life or something.
Stephen Davey: Oh, that’s easy I’ve been on the cover twice.
Robin: I’m so impressed. I was wondering if there was any chance that my little band could open at the Cabana room. Who would I talk to?
Stephen Davey: Well you’d have to talk to Ms. Susan about that, she’s you know, it’s kind of full schedule, everyone wants to play here it’s such a hot little spot but. Maybe I could, what was your name again?
Robin: Robin.
Stephen Davey: What was your band again?
Robin: Robin and the Robots. Pretty neat eh?
Stephen Davey: Very modern.
Robin: Very.
Stephen Davey: Well I got to go move the equipment.
Robin: Well thank you so much.
Stephen Davey: Anytime honey, see you around.
Robin: What a great guy.

Scene 5 Ms. Susan and Robin
Ms. Susan reading a magazine
Ms. Susan: (knock on door) Yeah.
Robin: Ms. Susan.
Ms. Susan: Yeah, come in.
Robin: You do remember that we have an appointment today? I talked to Stephen Davey and he suggested that
Ms. Susan: (reading from magazine) Grim reaper alias Helen Hunt is reformed and ready to perform, that is unbelievable. That XXX should be locked up. So what’s on your mind Robin?
Robin: Well, I’m sure Stephen mentioned to you. Oh my goodness look at all these posters. Are these all groups that played the Cabana Lounge?
Ms. Susan: Groups that groveled.
Robin: Oh there’s so many. 33 and 1/3 LP well I’ve certainly heard of them.
Ms. Susan: British rock. British rock. All we hear is about British rock. Can you tell me if it’s all British rock defining everything why does Elvis Costello’s organist sound like Christian Mark in the Mysterios?
Robin: It’s absolutely true.
Ms. Susan: What were you saying about Stephen Davey? New Everglades.
Robin: Well I have this band and I was sort of hoping that we could open at the Cabana Room.
Ms. Susan: What do you do?
Robin: Well I’ve called it Roe-bin, robin and the Robots.
Ms. Susan: How come the Robots?
Robin: The Robots because my whole band is machines. Like my keyboard is a Roland string synthesizer.
Ms. Susan: Yeah, what else?
Robin: Well I have a compu-rhythm, you know, sort of like a rhythm master. Everyone says my timing on the compu-rhythm is just great. I guess it’s from running Xerox machines. Well it does really terrific things you know, it does mambos, waltzes, marches and my specialty, disco.
Ms. Susan: So it’s just you and all these machines Robin?
Robin: Well no no, I do have a friend who does back-up for me. She’s even in prettier than Sandra D.
Ms. Susan: Get her down here right now.
Robin: Well she can’t get her down right now because she’s down in immigration there’s a little problem with her papers you know she’s from Germany, and she does interpretations of Kraftwerk. I’m sure she’s just going to be the hottest thing.
Ms. Susan: Well OK Robin.
Robin: She’s very good on the flanger too. I mean she really works that flanger.
Ms. Susan: OK can you give me a sample, today, right now, without this Heidi.
Robin: Well that would be kind of hard.
Ms. Susan: Do you want to do some coke and get sort of. Sounds really interesting. I’ll just turn you on to some great coke.
Robin: No coke for me because I’m an un-cola girl.
Ms. Susan: You’re a real nut Robin but we’ll give it a whirl get your little ass into the dressing room and have it ready in ten minutes.
Robin: Oh thank you Ms. Susan I’ll just go out and warm up my boxes. Bye bye.
Ms. Susan: So let me know when. OK. OK, c’mon c’mon let’s hear it I haven’t got all day.
(music begins)
(Ms. Susan does coke, drinks beer, beatbox and synthesizer plays)
Ms. Susan: Robin and the Robots. Robin and the Robots it’s great we’re gonna go with it, stop cut. We are gonna open Friday with Robin and the Robots.

Title: To be Continued (Donna Summers Bad Girls plays)

Scene 6 Robin and Ms. Susan
Robin: Ms. Susan, it’s just half an hour before opening and I’m so nervous, I’m not sure.
Ms. Susan: Relax Robin, it’s gonna be great. You’ll be a sensation. They come, they go. You play the Cabana room, next thing you know you’re going to be playing at The Edge, Larry’s Hideaway.
Robin: Oh The Edge, Larry’s Hideaway.
Ms. Susan: Maybe a gig in Buffalo.
Robin: Buffalo!
Ms. Susan: It’s you know. The anxiety for you is coming to a close. It’s going going. It’s going to take off. It’s like here in the Cabana Room you stay, you watch them come in. It’s like a springboard to platinum.
Robin: A springboard to platinum!
Ms. Susan: And you’re on the way Robin. It’s like all electricity, everything, gamma rays and alpha rays and omega rays.
Robin: Ms. Susan you’re so inspiring.
Ms. Susan: Swarming, it’s all swarming.
Robin: I just feel, Ms. Susan, are you alright?
Ms. Susan: Yeah sure I’m OK, I just get a bit down sometimes, I don’t want to talk about it. You’re really OK, you’re like a positive charge, so just go out there and plug in Robin. Do it. The Cabana Room is behind you all the way.
Robin: Oh Ms. Susan you’re such a friend, you’re so strong. I’m going to go and fix my hair. Thank you Ms. Susan. I won’t disappoint you. (Ms. Susan almost passed out, drinks beer, takes off her sunglasses, puts them back on)

Scene 7
Robin and Heidi performing song at the Cabana Room
Robin: Toot toot. Beep beep. Toot toot. Bad girls. Beep . Bad girls. Talking about those bad girls, sad girls, sad girls. Talking about bad girls. Toot toot. (blows whistle) (Heidi blows whistle) See them out on the streets at night walking, bad girls, picking up all kinds of strangers. (blows whistle) Hey mistah. Have you got a dime. Hey mister? Got some time? Sad girls, sad sad girls. Bad girls. Thin. Girls. Sad girls. Toot toot. Sad girls. But the sad girls. (blows whistle) Sad girls. Hey mistah. Have you got a dime. Hey mister? You want to spend some time. (blows whistle, again) Sad girls. Bad girls. Sad girls. Bad girls. Sad girls. Bad girls. Beep beep. See them on the strip at night, ready to trot, looking hot. Beep beep. Toot toot. (blows whistle) Get up. Get down. (blows whistle) Beep beep. Toot toot. (Robin catches a bouquet of flowers, sounds of cheering, she throws flowers into crowd)

Scene 8 Robin on the phone
Sound of phone dialing, image of Venetian blinds, Robin enters screen
Robin: Hello Ms. Susan, hi it’s Robin. How are you? Oh, you’re so sunshiny. Well it’s kind of a gloomy day today so I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner tonight. Yeah, well I do something really really special with Hamburger Helper, everybody raves about it, well, you’ve never had that? Wait until you see it and taste it. That would be really great. And I’ll get some wine. And we’ll just have a really great time. Great. Well about eight o’clock how does that sound? OK. Bye bye. (puts phone down) Gee, that Ms. Susan, she’s such a bundle of sunshine, it’ll be good to see her.

Scene 9 Ms. Susan
Ms. Susan: (on phone) OK Robin, be in a groove, don’t move, I’ll be there at eight. Bye doll. Oh God, oh God I’m so depressed. Hey Robin it was a really great show.
Robin: Oh thank you Ms. Susan I’m so glad you’re here tonight on such short notice. Oh here, some wine, it’s called Baby Turkey and it’s just really fabulous and I got it especially for you. I’m so glad you could come at such short notice, you look so fabulous Ms. Susan.
Ms. Susan: Yeah, that’s great.
Robin: I’ll be right back.
Ms. Susan: Robin? Hey Robin come back. (phone rings) Robin your phone’s ringing. OK.
Robin: Here’s your hamburger helper. Hello, Robin’s residence. Oh gee oh really, big date, you’re going to the terrace, oh I’d really love to, I really love all that disco stuff you know, I’d really love to. But I have a friend over.
Ms. Susan: It’s really new wave food Robin.
Robin: I mean she’s just totally fabulous. What time should we be leaving. We’re just about to sit down to dinner.
Ms. Susan: I just can’t seem to connect with electricity here Robin.
Robin: Well I don’t know, I’ve never thought of doing a photo session like that. Well if Marilyn Monroe did it, I suppose it’s good enough for me. But I don’t know, at ten o’clock that’s sort of short notice. Um, I mean maybe we could really rush through dinner. I’ll be right there Ms. Susan I’ve got a call for a hot date. Yeah, so uh what would I have to wear for the photo session, well it’s true I am a bad girl. Oh sure, Ms. Susan! Excuse me, what’s happened? Ms. Susan, oh my God, oh, I’m sorry she seems to be unconscious I don’t know what it is. Oh I’d really love to come on the date, the photo session is like, I’ve always dreamed of it. Well maybe I, we could take her too. I don’t know what to do.

Title: To Be Continued

Scene 10 Robin reads a book called Faggots
Robin v/o: As you will remember Robin having gained entrance to the fabulous Cabana Room with her ponytail broke into the big time with her scintillating version of Bad Girls, premiered at the fabulous Cabana Room with her band the Robots. The last sequence found Robin torn at the decision she had to make. Should she go out on a hot date or should she take Ms. Susan who has just attempted suicide to the hospital?

Title: News news news

Scene 11 Newscaster
Good evening, this is the news news news. Final edition. On the national scene 500 boat people were officially welcomed to Winnipeg today. As a special treat the provincial government hired the paddleboat River Queen to take them on an all day cruise on Lake Winnipeg. Several were seen jumping overboard as the River Queen pulled away from the dock.

On the local scene. Local celebrity Ms. Susan manager of the stylish Cabana Room has been taken off the critical list in Toronto General Hospital. Doctors have described her as suffering from extreme mental and physical exhaustion. As Dr. PinWong stated, her system is just generally fucked up.

And still another item concerning the Cabana Room. Adele Freedman of the Globe and Mail has brought a one million dollar lawsuit against Ms. Susan claiming slander, libel and defamation of character due to Ms. Susan’s alleged statement that Adele Freedman is and I quote “a member of the geek press.”

On the international scene OPEC announced today that the west had better let the sun shine in.

Scene 12
Title: Girl’s Talk
And heads will spin when It’s time for yet another glamorous gabfest, GG’s Girl Talk. And here’s our gorgeous gal GG.
GG: Hi ladies, and welcome to another episode of Girl’s Talk. And we know that they do talk. We have a great show for you this afternoon. Mona will be here later with her exercise program. Don’t worry it’s simple. It’s only thirty seconds of standing up you’re off your couches having a little stretch. Those of you who have gone shopping don’t worry you don’t have to do anything you’ve had your exercise for the day. Julia will be here later, Julia Meathook and she’s doing what you can do with turkey leftovers. For those of you with mixed marriages your husband likes the more exotic kind of foods you can roll it in grape vine leaves and she’s got a wonderful recipe for us. But I’ve been saving the best for last. We have a hot new group they’ve come in for an interview this afternoon, I’m sure all of you have heard about them, it’s Robin and the Robots. Robin and Heidi. Let’s give them a big welcome. (claps, Robin and Heidi enters blowing whistle, Bad Girls by Donna Summers plays)
GG: Well that’s enough of that, let’s have a seat.
Robin: Oh, dropped my flower.
GG: Oh be careful it’s beautiful. No no, what are you putting it there for?
Robin: That’s what they do on the news.
GG: No, not the news. That’s your microphone, you want everybody to hear you this afternoon.
Robin: Oh I see. Heidi. She’s on medication.
GG: I guess she must be suffering a lot, we’ve heard about what happened to your manager and good friend Ms. Susan. I mean the scandal is going on about it, I just wanted to ask you is it true that she tried to commit suicide?
Robin: GG. Ms. Susan, I would just like to say. My dear friend Ms. Susan did not try to commit suicide. She is so sunshiny that’s just ridiculous.
GG: Well enough of that, we should get on to more cheery topics your career which has just taken off at an incredible pace. Can you tell us a bit about your opening at the Cabana Room?
Robin: Well, my life has really changed.
GG: It has, great. In what ways?
Robin: Well you know now I’m recognized when I walk into the club when I watch other bands perform there. Stuff like that. I get lots of phone calls. From Thornhill. Mom and dad are really excited about it. I get other phone calls too.
GG: I bet they do more than just look at you when you walk into the Cabana, from what I heard they’re just attacking you when you go into the Cabana.
Robin: It’s true, it’s true, sometimes it’s quite frightening.
GG: I bet.
Robin: I nearly had this ripped off my bosom the other night.
Heidi: They really grab you Robin.
GG: That’s too bad. When you’re a beautiful singing star like yourself, how do you keep the men away? You must have a real problem with this.
Robin: Well it is a kind of new problem for me.
GG: Well new problems are good problems.
Robin: You know I, I believe in love.
GG: Well don’t you get love from these people? They seem to love you.
Robin: Well you deem to get a lot of different offers about things you know, I just, you know I just try to keep my wits about me, you know.
GG: Is it true what they say about rock and roll stars that you just have your choice of anyone who is there?
Robin: It’s true. Lots of guys you know, I pick and choose at the stage door every night if I wanted to. But Ms. Susan is very concerned that we not involve ourselves in any scandals because the press is there, that kind of thing, she said just keep your noses clean.
GG: Well I’m sure it’s good advice because you could probably end up with some very terrible things happening to you. You read a lot about it in the papers it’s true. Perhaps Heidi could? Is Heidi alright?
Robin: It’s her allergies GG.
GG: Does she need a tissue or anything? Perhaps Heidi could tell us about what kind of men she likes. She doesn’t like men?
Heidi: Police men.
GG: She likes police men? You might like army men too, is that true or is that just apocalypse now you have that.
Heidi: I like fortunate soldiers. Black men.
GG: Do you like European men, I hear they’re so sophisticated and suave. Mail men?
Heidi: Mail men.
Robin: Heidi she’s so continental, she’s so exciting. She just likes all kinds of men, she’s, its just really sophisticated over there in Europe.
GG: Well that’s good.
Heidi: I like hard working men.
GG: That’s very nice. Well perhaps we could get on too Robin, I love your clothes, you’re obvious having a ball, being out in the business world as rock and roll singers.
Robin: This is French.
GG: It must be from Paris then it’s really lovely.
Robin: No no no, it’s from Montreal, this I got at le Chateau, that’s French you know, Montreal.
GG: Is this the costume you perform in most of the time?
Robin: This is what I was wearing the night I first went into the Cabana Room and got in on the Twist contest and of course as they say the rest is history.
GG: You know there’s a question we always ask our guests, I hope you don’t mind if I’m being a bit rude but, I just feel it’s something a lot of women have a problem with and especially women who are in show business. Can tell us a bit more. What deodorant do you use Robin.
Robin: I use Right Guard unscented, keeps me dry.
GG: We’re all concerned about something that’s influencing Europe at the moment, it’s the terrorists, they just must live in fear there, the whole time.
Robin: Oh they do.
GG: Have you had any trouble Heidi?
Heidi: It’s really rough.
GG: It’s rough.
Robin: Oh the terrorists are very rough.
GG: They are. Yes, I would think they are very rough.
Robin: Oh they blow people up they blow up airplanes you know, I’m so glad we don’t have terrorists here.
GG: I am too, I must admit.
Heidi: They hide in the rafters.
Robin: They do, don’t they. They hide in the rafters. You never know where they are. They just kidnap you and probably rape you or something.
Heidi: Make you give head jobs.
GG: Probably don’t have too much time left, Mona has to come out and exercise.
Robin: Oh exercise is very important.
GG: Well if you want to just stay with us.
Robin: That’s how I developed my bust you know. I don’t have too much to work with.
GG: That’s not true you have a beautiful bust, a lovely cleavage.
Robin: Exercise girls, you can do it too.
GG: Well maybe you chose the exercise you did.
Robin: Oh I don’t have the machine.
GG: Oh it wasn’t just simple, with a doorknob or anything.
Robin: I’m really into..
GG: What kind of? Oh of course.
Heidi: A flanger.
GG: A flanger? What’s a flanger?
Robin: Oh Heidi. It’s like what we use in the business for our music. You can’t flange your bosom.
GG: You can’t. Oh I’m sorry. Well that’s it, we better cut to our sponsors.
Robin: OK
GG: We’ll be right back.

Scene 13 Hustler Centerfold
Robin v/o: I remember that night so well when we came to his studio and well he told me that nude photography was…
Photographer: Well Robin you know the most important thing is for you to just relax, just be yourself, just relax be yourself, let your whole body go limp, like you’re at home in the swimming pool lying on the air mattress and it’s a warm sunny day.
Robin v/o: He said that but my body was, it’s was just as tight as a string.
Photographer: Robin now just relax. Don’t think of this as pornography. Don’t think of this as any kind of sleazy operation just trust me, I’m your photographer and it’s going to be fun and exciting and most of all these photographs they’re not pornography they’re art. A lot of artists employ nude models you know, it’s all throughout history so I want you just to relax and think of your body as a musical instrument.
Robin v/o: When he said pornography I thought well what if my mother knew and then I told him about doing my bust exercises and I really hoped…
Photographer: You really know how to model, have you done this kind of thing before?
Robin v/o: He was so flattering.
Photographer: Robin perfect. I want you to look dynamic. Nice smile.
Robin v/o: I started to really, I don’t know what came over me but I really started to get into it you know. He was so exciting. It really seemed like fun.
Photographer: Who does your hair Robin?
Robin v/o: But then he told me to…
Photographer: I think it’s time to get rid of your clothes.
Robin v/o: Drop my pants, I was so worried, but he said it was art and I really wanted to be sure and I did believe I was an artist. My hands were shaking so much I didn’t think I could get all my buttons undone.
Photographer: Don’t be nervous just think of your body as a musical instrument.
Robin v/o: I couldn’t bare my bosom in front of him so I turned my back and struggled with the buttons and thought…
Photographer: I’m waiting for you Robin.
Robin v/o: I told him it was well too chilly in here maybe hoping I would maybe get out of it.
Photographer: That’s right Robin, a bit more, a bit more, a little more off the shoulder, ah now we’re going places.
Robin v/o: I was paralyzed with fear but he was so handsome and so flattering.
Photographer: Wonderful Robin, just smile like that, yeah, perfect.
Photographer: Keep going Robin.
Robin v/o: I smiled at him but I was so afraid. My hands were shaking as I as I tried to undo my bra.
Photographer: Robin you know we don’t have all day, c’mon.
Robin v/o: He was getting impatient and I was so nervous I couldn’t get the snaps undone. I was so embarrassed, I finally had to ask him to come over and help me. He slapped me on the back and oh the touch of his hand suddenly made me so hot.
Photographer: Robin you’re really hot tonight. I can tell you’ve got a lot of potential.
Robin v/o: Something came over me I think I turned into a tart, I winked at him.
Photographer: Wonderful, we’re really going places, excellent. This is fun, this is excitement. You know you’ve got potentials to be a really top model.
Robin v/o: Then he told me to turn around and let me see what I had.
Photographer: Let me see your nipples.
Robin v/o: He complimented me on my nipples and I was so embarrassed.
Photographer: Very cute, sort of perky. Now it’s time for the pants, you know. The night’s not over yet.
Robin v/o: When they fell to the floor I thought I’d die because the next step was you know to drop my pants that’s what he said those were his very words.
Photographer: Just drop your pants now. Soon it’s all over.
Robin: I knew it. I knew this was really me.
Photographer: I need a little sort of X-composition here, X-formation. Now just hold your hands above your head like that and push your legs apart a bit more.
Robin v/o: Like this, I said.
Photographer: Well, just a little bit more. Oh perfect, wonderful, I think you’re really a prize, I think we might even get you published somewhere.
Robin: In fact I think I was almost wet.
Photographer: Perfect, Robin, this is wonderful, it’s all fun and excitement.
Robin: For art I said, for art. As long as it’s for art. Something I had noticed was I thought the camera seemed aimed rather low.
Photographer: Perfect Robin, excellent, you’re really a treat.
Robin: Are you sure my face is in the picture.

Scene 14
Robin and Heidi
Robin: Watch the flanger, watch the flanger, you’re just a little bit too heavy on the flanger.
Heidi: Flanger, yes. You’re wawa is so way out.
Robin: I thought peple would be here to sign our autographs, to take our photographs.
Heidi: The only thing I want is toot toot.
Robin: Heidi please. Oh Heidi you look so wonderful. Is my mole on right onight? It’s part of my identification. They really like that. Stephen Davey told me about all these little things, special effects, little touches to make your personality glow a little bit more on the page.
Heidi: Yes, sweat.
Robin: August in the Cabana room. Heidi please, enough beep beeping. Heidi please we have another set to do. We have to think of, Heidi what if some one saw you?
Policeman: What are you girls doing out here?
Robin: Oh, good evening officer.
Policeman: what was she doing?
Robin: Heidi’s on medication.
Policeman: What does she have in her purse?
Heidi: Passport? Passport?
Robin: It’s not Germany
Policeman: I think she’s dropped something wait a minute.
Robin: My friend’s from Germany and…
Policeman: Cocaine. Why are you dressed like that, with your boobs hanging out?
Robin: I’ll have you know we’re entertainers.
Policeman: Oh yeah, what kind of entertainment.
Robin: We’re in a band and this is Heidi and this is Robin and the Robots, and we play right here.
Policeman: Maybe you’d like to entertain me now.
Robin: What do you mean, officer?
Policeman: Well it’s pretty obvious what you do. Maybe you’d like to do it to me.
Robin: I’m afraid that you just have the totally wrong impression about me and my friend.
Policeman: Doesn’t look like it.
Robin: Well if you would like to meet Ms. Susan.
Policeman: Sure, maybe she’d like to do it too.
Robin: We’re members of… the door’s locked, Heidi the door’s locked, what are we going to do? Ms. Susan is the manager of the Cabana Room and she’s a wonderful woman.
Policeman: Maybe we could arrange to do something right now.
Robin: Heidi why don’t you go and get Ms. Susan.
Policeman: Here put your hands down here like this.
Robin: Heidi run, get Ms. Susan.

Title: To Be Continued
Title: Bad Girls

Scene 15
Susan: Come in.
Robin: Ms. Susan. How are you?
Susan: I’m feeling great, I’m feeling great Robin. I’ve been thinking of you.
Robin: It’s so much nicer to see you in your home environment instead of in that hospital.
Susan: Instead of that shithole.
Robin: How’s your dressing?
Susan: Did it myself. With that white stuff, it’s all up tempo, yeah.
Robin: Are you a bit chilly?
Susan: I’m a bit chilly.
Robin: A poncho.
Susan: Well we can share it. So how you been Robin, you got the valium?
Robin: Ms. Susan you know that’s what got you in trouble in the first place.
Susan: Oh yeah well…
Robin: I bought you a squash, lots of vitamins in them, and some soup, some nice warm soup, soup a poid, whatever that means, but I’m sure it’s good for you.
Susan: Yeah, that’s really nice of you Robin, I’m feeling fine actually. Want some beer honey?
Robin: And here’s a postcard of DoDo Day. She’s so sunshiny she just, you really remind me of her.
Susan: Sunshine, yeah, do do.
Robin: And as a special treat I brought you a plant at Kresge’s that sort of looks like a Christmas tree don’t you think.
Susan: C’mon Robin put this down, there’s something I want to talk to you about. Like, in the hospital I thought about you
Robin: Ms. Susan I thought of you all the time.
Susan: You’re looking really cute today, you know, why don’t you have some more beer?
Robin: I’ve changed my make-up you know, now I’m using Cover girl.
Susan: Robin, have you ever made it with a woman? Have you ever got it on with a woman?
Robin: Got what on?
Susan: Robin, you know, have you ever made it with a woman in bed?
Robin: Ms. Susan…

Scene 16
Robin assembling model ship
Robin: What if I really am bisexual? My feelings are so confused especially down there. I mean with men it’s so different, so direct, they’re so hard and hot, so muscular, I mean that time Monte made us go to bed on the waterbed in our wet suits, I could still feel his hard hot body even through all that rubber. But Ms. Susan is so different, that first night I just cried and cried. I just couldn’t stop myself it was like, it was like being in bed with a swan her fingers just felt like feathers running over me, my throat, my eyelids, my nipples. I’m just so confused. If only there was somebody to talk to.

Scene 17
Ms. Susan on the phone
Susan: Oh well I told you we’re gonna go with the black vinyl. (knock on door) Oh c’mon in.
Robin: Hi Ms. Susan.
Susan: Hi just a second, we’re gonna go with black vinyl in the women’s washroom, I want to see the designs by Tuesday and don’t bullshit me.
Robin: I brought my overnight bag.
Susan: Yeah, well, great. Listen Robin, there’s a few things I have to say you I’m pretty pissed off. I’m pretty busy these days, right? We’re renovating the Cabana Room the money’s coming in we’re going uptown I got to go to Buffalo in two acts, I have to see some new acts, and Heidi’s producers are coming in, Heidi’s really taking off. Robin, this bullshit with Hustler magazine is a drag.
Robin: He said it was for art he was going to print…
Susan: Robin I don’t want to hear any of your sob sister stories. What’s dumb is dumb and another thing what is with you calling Adele Freedman a member of the geek press, she’s suing you and…
Robin: I just did that to protect you.
Susan: Oh c’mon Robin I don’t want to hear this stuff. The thing is we’re very busy, we’re going places with the Cabana Room, we’re going uptown, we’re going big time. Heidi is our new star and I’m sorry star but you better take your little overnight bag and I’m sorry Robin but I’ve got phone calls to make.
Robin: But what does this mean Ms. Susan?
Susan: Robin, how many times do I have to tell you? It means there’s no place for you in the Cabana room so get lost.
Robin: Get lost?
Susan: Hello, hello, I have been talking to somebody about getting a bank of monitors against one wall and the specifications haven’t arrived yet could you get the manager on the phone right this instant. It’s Ms. Susan from the Cabana Room.

Image: Heidi in foliage German pop song plays, she lipsticks a swastika on clear glass plate

Image: still Robin dancing
Music: McArthur Park (disco version)

Title: featuring

Title: Bad Girls
Rodney Werden
Susan Britton
Colin Campbell

Title: Anya Varda
Granda Gazelle
Stephen Davey

Title: Mary Jane
Ross Young
Tim Guest
Ron Gale
George Hawken

Title: Robots music performed by: Chris Terry Steven Davey
Engineered by Cam Morrison at O.C.A.
Additional music: Donna Summer
Camera: Susan Britton
Steven Davey
Jorge Lozano
Rodney Werden

Peter MacCallum: Spadina Hotel
Colin Campbell
Susan Britton
Jorge Lozano

Production Assistance
Steven Davey
Rodney Werden

Colin Campbell 1979 c.