True / False - Script

Colin Campbell (profile, close-up face)

I like Sackville. True. False.
I have false teeth. True. False.
I smoke grass. True. False.
I still masturbate. True. False.
I am part Jewish. True. False.
I am seeing a psychiatrist. True. False.
I have had crabs. True. False.
I snort coke. True. False.
I collect pornography. True. False.
I recently attempted suicide. True. False.
I am heterosexual. True. False.
I am part Indian. True. False.
I want to be a star. True. False.
I have committed bestiality. True. False.
I am an exhibitionist. True. False.
Colin is my real name. True. False.

Colin Campbell (turns to face camera)
Repeats above text

Cast: Colin Campbell